Don’t Wait for Anyone Else to Fill Your ‘Love Language’ Cup
I’ve been married to someone for almost 25 years and our love languages don’t match.
I grew up with a Dad who used words of affirmation every time I walked into a room. Marrying someone whose natural love language is acts of service complicates things ~ especially in the first decade of our relationship.
And here’s one more thing that you may not have considered: Your love language may shift.
Today, quality time in nature fills my soul. Doing it with ‘my guys’ makes it feel magical in a way that I love.
The popular book The Five Love Languages leaves out an important part. Instead of spending time trying to find someone who meets your love language, do it yourself!
You’ll have to break a lifetime of training to shift your thinking. From the time we are born, our “love cup” is filled by someone else. By about 4 or 5, society is making it clear, when you find “the one”, your prince charming, then he will take over where your parents left off.
Julie Kelley, Truly Jude Founder
The shift to nurturing yourself starts today! Plan your own Valentine’s Day date, buy your own favorite flowers, and make sure the gift you get is exactly what you want – pick it out yourself.
Which brings me to my Valentine’s Date, which was amazing in every way that I wanted. Of course it was! I saw the ad for a torchlit trail, hosted by Kingdom Trails, and I made a plan to go.
My little guy is always up for an adventure. My husband is becoming more adventurous – which I love! As we set off on our snowshoes up the hill, there was absolutely NO WHERE ELSE – in the world – that I wanted to be.
It felt magical as we snowshoed through the woods. And, even more so, when we crested a hill and discovered the firepit roaring. My little guy loved making s’mores and hot cocoa.
I loved the collective community of people! I heard one woman say, that she was so happy when her baby got old enough that she could get back outside on winter nights.
I thought to myself – ‘Wow, some people do this all the time! I want to too.’
We learn to love ourselves through experiences. Not all of them are as magical as this night. In fact, many are painful and you wonder if you’ll ever find your way to a place of great love again.
You will, but it takes trusting your own voice within.
Always remember, there is no one on Earth who knows your ‘Love Language’ as well as you.
(Post Note: My favorite moment of the entire night was lying in the snow with my little guy, looking up at the starlit sky, and just being together.)
Lovely story, Julie.
Thank you and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love this so much! This is why for 45 years,Tim and I have planned our love days( Valentine’s,birthday, anniversary,and those random days we are both free) together❤️
Such a beautiful way to do it – together! 45 years is a testament to honoring both of your love languages! Happy Valentine’s Day!