Every time I read a story about a family that had to FaceTime their goodbyes to a loved one dying from Covid – I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and wonder, ‘How will they bear this?’.
And then there are the countless others – people who love and adore their families as much as I do – who did not even get that chance.
My Fear of Death
From the time I was a little girl, I worried about death. The deaths of my parents. The deaths of my brothers. That continued into adulthood as my Father’s health declined.
No one watching me on the morning news on WCAX-TV would have know, I was waiting for a text each morning from my Dad, praying that he had not died in his sleep. It may sound morose (and does to me now), but he had many ailments and I didn’t know how I would survive without my biggest fan and my guiding light.
I’ve learned since then … I survive one breath, one moment, at a time.
The Gift of Holding Space
For days before my Father died in August 2018, the Irish Tenors filled his ICU room: the booming voices of the music that he loved and a family history he held dear. We held his hand, rubbed his head, and whispered our great love for him – over and over and over again. We prayed over him and then, formed a family circle around him as they removed his breathing tube.
As he took his last breath, he felt our breaths, our hands, our love. Nearly THREE MILLION families, around the world, have gone through the agony of death without this gift of holding space. They are enduring a layer of grief that I have not.
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The ‘Thin Spaces’ that Connect Us
After I posted my first blog on grief, The Soulfully Complicated Process of Grief, a friend told me about the Celtic term “thin spaces.” She described it as a space where our world and their time touch.
As I shared in my first blog on grief, my Dad often comes to me through those thin spaces.
Over the last year, I find myself reading articles and saving pictures of families who have lost so much. I love knowing their stories because, each person, has someone like me who wonders, ‘How will I survive without them?’
MY PRAYER FOR COVID FAMILIES I pray that you feel that 'thin space' and it feels like a soulful place. I pray that you embrace the painful emotion that comes, knowing too, that the one you love is close to you. When the darkness feels unbearable, I pray that you say to yourself, 'I am not alone'. I have a collective community of grievers who are holding space with me. I pray, that you feel us, out here, around the world, with you. ~ Julie Kelley, Founder, TrulyJude.com
I’m a private praying type. I’m not an out loud, public space kind of pray-er. But today, I hope you feel my prayer and know that we are here with you.
Truly,
Julie