Time is a Mind Game

The mind games of grief are complicated and winding.

It’s still four weeks out from the anniversary of my Dad’s death, but the weight of the time that has passed, since August 15, 2018, is crushing me.

There was a time when I couldn’t imagine living one day without my Dad.

Somehow, here I am at 1,433 days.

My mind finds that impossible to fathom.

And, my heart, well, it feels the crush of the weight of 2 million minutes that add up to a new way of living for me – for our family.

‘Time Heals All Wounds’ is a Mind Game

Time healing wounds is another mind game that I don’t believe is true.

What I believe is that I will always have wounds from the death of my Dad.

No amount of time will ever heal the part of me that wishes for more time for the simple pleasures of life that add up to the most valued moments.

If only I could have …

One more day sitting at a table sharing a cup of tea and a conversation ….

Coming into a room, where he is sitting, and hearing the love of an every day greeting that feels like a special moment …

Listening to him talking to my son like he was the most interesting human in the world.

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Four years of grieving my Dad has led to some pretty incredible things! Mind blowing things when you quiet down and listen for the whisper of their presence. In parts 1 and 2 of this blog series, I share some of those magical moments. READ MORE

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Time Allows For What He Would Want Us to Know

Speaking of time, my Dad was the greatest cheerleader of all time! (He never played mind games, except to make you feel better about yourself.)

He could pick you up when you were down ~ with the twinkle in his eye.

The way he said ‘HELLO’ felt like he hadn’t seen you in years, even if you had just gone to the grocery store.

My son is seven now. He’ll surprise me, sometimes, by reacting just the way my Dad would. I savor those moments – that’s when God reminds me that my Dad is still with us and living through us.

Julie Kelley, Truly Jude Founder

Time Allows Joy (that’s a good mind game!)

I’ve wondered if part of my waves of grief, lately, are because I’m about to be with my whole family on Hilton Head Island.

With 20 years of summer memories, in a place that all of us love, it never really feels WHOLE without my Dad.

But, he would not be happy with me for feeling that way.

He might declare, with a twinkle in his eye, a tilt of his head and a pat of my hand, “R-E-L-A-X! Enjoy it!”

And he is right, she said, as the tears streamed down her face.

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